Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
It's a great time of year, but, I know that a lot of guys out there feel bad about the fact that they don't have a special lady to be with over the holidays. so I wanted to write a special blog post about that today.
You know I've spent some lonely thanksgivings myself... I remember one year when I was around 22 and my whole family went somewhere and I stayed home because I had to work or something so I missed the big dinner.
I came home to an empty house (I was still living at home at the time) and made myself a plate of nachos, and that was my thanksgiving!
All my friends were with their ladies or with their families so I didn't have anybody to hangout with, and well, it kinda sucked.
It's easy to feel bad for yourself over the holidays when everyone else seems to have someone and you are all alone, but this "feeling bad for yourself" is actually just about the WORST thing that you can EVER do, if you want to be successful in life, particularly with women.
And I notice A LOT, A LOT of guys doing EXACTLY this. Feeling bad for themselves, and talk all this "whoa is me" stuff, "girls don't like me", "I can't get a girlfriend", "all my friends have girlfriends, what's wrong with me", "Oh I need to get laid", "oh there's something wrong with me that I can't get a girl", or a date, or some ass or whatever.
So, if that sounds like something you have been saying to yourself, do us both a favor and give yourself a BITCHSLAP!
That feeling sorry for yourself stuff is probably your biggest problem right there.
See if you focus on what you DON'T have, you make it into a bigger issue than it really should be, and you become preocupied by it. Then you also start looking at the world with this "scarcity mindset" where you are just seeing what is lacking in your life, and... this sets you up in a scarcity frame, where you attract more scarcity. UGH
The solution. is to focus on all the good things in your life. Things like your youth, your health, your wealth, your friends, your family, your pets etc... whatever it is that makes you happy in your life. Hey maybe you are old, poor, and in bad health, even then, there has got to be SOMETHING that you are thankful for, whatever you have got, focus on that and focus on how good it makes you feel that you have that stuff.
Then, when you run into a hot chick you would like to talk to, she won't see a black-hole of neediness and scarcity within you. Instead, she'll see a guy who appreciates all the good things in life and has a positive attractive attitude, and that will be attractive to her.
You know I get emails from guys all the time saying, "Hey I'd really like to get your book or do coaching with you, but nothing has worked for me before because I'm tool old, or too short, or too whatever, so how can I know if you are going to be able to help me?"
And THAT is their problem right there, they are focused on their inability to succeed and on their perceived "flaws", and they blow these things up into giant obstacles in there heads, and a self-fulfilling prophecy ensues.
I read a book a few years back that I found very helpful in thinking about all of this. Its called the TAO of Dating by Alex Benzer. In it, he talks extensively about how if you want something (like a sexy girl) you should be grateful for her BEFORE you get her...
Crazy huh, well it's actually totally awesome and if you are interested in a more philosophical way of looking at this whole "getting good with women" thing I highly suggest you check it out...
The kind of thinking he talks about in the book has helped me out a great deal!
Anyways, thanks for reading my blog, I really do appreciate it. And if you haven't already, sign up for my free Ecourse and Newsletter at the top of the page!
I'll talk to you soon
Jake
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