How To Be Confident With Women

Yes, this is a serious topic... How to be confident with women. Many books have been written on the topic and many a PUA wannabe has hypothesized the best way to confident, but yet, for most men the answer remains elusive. So - I'm gonna take a stab at it here in 400 words or less!

Ok, first off, for our purposes it is important to fully understand what confidence IS and what it means to be confident...

Confidence = The outward projection of your belief in yourself.

So, when you act or appear confident, whether it's with a woman or a job interview or in any other situation, what you are doing is projecting your strong sense of self out into the world, where others will take note of it.

When you walk up to an attractive woman and start a natural unscripted conversation with her, this is a confident action. You are able to do this because you BELIEVE in yourself so much that you know that no matter what happens - it's gonna be okay, and you are going to be okay.

Guys who DON'T believe in themselves are usually unable to make confident moves like this because they doubt themselves... get it?

So, now that we've summed up WHAT confidence is, how can a guy BE confident with women?

The answer, is simple. In order to be confident and take confident action you need BELIEVE IN YOURSELF first.

I know, it sounds hard, but it's not. Not if you have a plan...

Everyone has the power to start or stop believing in themselves at any moment. The choice is up to you. Really, being confident with girls is just a matter of CHOOSING to believe in yourself and then making it a habit. It means LEARNING to like and appreciate yourself.

It's funny how being confident and smooth with women is actually much more of an internal thing than it is an external thing... Once your get to really like yourself, you really need very little in terms of "outer-game" to be successful with women. Conversation and flirting skills are vital, but the crazy thing is that in order to be a good flirt or a good conversationalist you need that core of confidence to back you up, it's like the backbone of your entire game.

Now if any of this is resonating with you, then your are probably wondering "OK, so how do I choose to believe in myself and appreciate myself?"

And there are a ton of ways to do this. One way I've found helpful is to really focus on my passions and actively go after my dreams.

When I'm working towards goals, and doing the things I love I'm having fun and I feel good about the path I'm on.

If I was sitting around getting fat and playing video games all day working at Walmart, I would NOT be feeling good about myself or my direction...

If you want to be successful with women, there is NOTHING more productive for you to do then focus on your passions, and learn to love yourself and see yourself as THE MAN! This will get you SO much farther than some "peacocking" outfits, or some lame brain PUA routine - believe that!

One last thing I wanted to touch on while we're on the subject is the idea of being cocky and funny with women. A few years back when David DeAngelo published Double Your Dating everybody got all swept up with the idea that attracting women was just a matter of being cocky with women and funny around women. And while I like the book a lot overall, I think that the whole cocky-funny thing got misconstrued by a lot of guys...

Ultimately cocky humor is just another way of showing women that you are a confident fun guy.

Now maybe for David D cocky funny is the way to go because it fits his unique personality... BUT, for guys who aren't natural ball-busters, trying too hard to be cocky-funny and throwing a bunch of "negs" can come of as rude or just plain weird.

Other guys with different kinds of personalities will naturally display their confidence and self-esteem to women in other ways. Maybe even by being the opposite of cocky and funny - what would that be? Humble and mellow? Whatever it is - with a confident backbone in place it'll get the job done.