The Problem With Nice Guys a Case Study a.k.a. Why Nice Guys Don't Get Laid

What's up peeps,

First of all, when I talk about "nice guys", I'm not talking about nice as in: kind, pleasant, friendly. Those things are all good. I'm really talking about are timid guys who are afraid to take charge or be sexual with women.

So, now that we have that cleared up, being a timid "nice-guy" is like an epidemic among men. It's definitely up there as a reason guys don't get laid or get girlfriends.

In fact if a guy's only *problem* is that he's too nice, then he's in good shape, you can fix it.

So, I've got a story the illustrates the whole "nice guy" problem pretty well...

I've got this friend I'll call Jerry, who has a really hard time getting laid or getting a girlfriend. In fact he's never had a real girlfriend, and he would really, really like one.

The thing about Jerry is that he really should be good with women. He's in pretty good shape, he dresses alright, he's a good looking dude, he supports himself fine and he has a great personality. I love hangin' with Jerry, he's my homeboy!

In fact, girls like Jerry. He has female friends, girls hit him up on Facebook all the time, and he gets numbers regularly from attractive girls, and so on. He even has girls in his social circle telling other people that they have a crush on him.

So he really should be doing well with women.

The trouble is that Jerry refuses to take the lead with women or be aggressive in any way.

As a result, girls who are initially interested in him, quickly lose interest and see him as "just a friend".

It usually goes something like this:

Jerry will meet a girl and start obsessing about her... He'll get her number, but instead of just calling her and asking her out he'll text her, and IM her, and draw it out, and wonder why she isn't texting him back etc...

At this point, many girls will withdraw, because they know that something is not quite right here.

The others, who obviously have a higher level of interest, will hang in there for a while until he can get his act together and ask for the date.

Then, Jerry will f*ck up some more... He'll ask the girl what she wants to do and let her run the show. If she wants to go roller-blading, he'll go out and buy a pair of $100 "blades" so they can go do that together. Its truly preposterous!

But it gets worse... On the date Jerry won't be sexual or flirtatious at all. He'll just be a mellow friend.

I remember one night when Jerry was staying at my place he had this girl over hanging out with him and she was hot. I walked out to the living room to get something and they were squished up together on the love seat. So I excused myself quickly so as not to interfere with what I saw as and eminent situation about to unfold.

When I saw him in the morning, Jerry revealed that nothing had happened. The reason, he hadn't done anything, was because he "couldn't tell" if she wanted to fool around with him. So he had just sat there until she had to go home and sleep.

Ridiculous!

Then, Jerry kept pursuing her, he would text her every couple days, write to her on Myspace etc... A couple weeks later she invited him to a BBQ, and when he got there, she was with another DUDE!

So basically, this is what happens to nice guys, they act like eunuchs so they get treated like eunuchs, and that sucks...

Women want men who have balls. You need some kinda balls, they don't need to be huge, but you'll got to be able to flex 'em a little bit.

When you act timid, you aren't acting masculine, because you aren't taking the male role. And when you don't act masculine women don't see you as somebody they want to hook-up with, even if you are good looking, and friendly, and have good social skills.

You don't need to become an "alpha male" to do this. I'm not really a huge fan of that term... However, if you want to hook up with women, you MUST lead.

You've got to be comfortable with the fact that you are a man with needs, and that that is a good healthy thing. You also need to learn to be comfortable expressing this to women by flirting with them, having a sexual vibe with them, and not being afraid to escalate physically.

In my next post I'll talk about how to overcome this timidness, and reclaim your balls.